Lesson 8: Concision#
核心原則#
清除句子中的贅字廢話,讓句子的骨架更清楚。但記住:簡潔不等於簡短——目標不是把每句話壓到最短,而是讓每個字都有存在的理由。
六個簡潔原則#
1. 刪除無意義的字詞 (Meaningless Words)#
有些字詞可以直接刪除,完全不影響意思:
| 可刪除的字詞 |
|---|
| kind of, sort of, type of, really, basically |
| actually, practically, virtually, certain, particular |
| individual, given, various, respective |
Some polling sites reported various problems of a technical nature, but these did not really affect the election’s actual result.
✓ Some polling sites reported technical problems, but these did not affect the election’s result.
2. 刪除重複的配對 (Redundant Pairs)#
英文中有許多習慣性的重複配對:
| 重複配對 | 保留一個 |
|---|---|
| full and complete | complete |
| each and every | each / every |
| hopes and desires | hopes / desires |
| any and all | any / all |
| aid and assistance | aid / assistance |
| first and foremost | first |
| true and accurate | accurate |
3. 刪除可推論的字詞 (Obvious Implications)#
有些資訊讀者可以自行推論,不需要你明說:
Energy will eventually cost more in years to come.
✓ Energy will eventually cost more.
In years to come 可以刪掉,因為 eventually 已經暗示了未來。
4. 用一個詞替換一個片語 (A Phrase for a Word)#
| 冗長片語 | 簡潔替代 |
|---|---|
| the reason for | because |
| due to the fact that | because |
| in the event that | if |
| it is necessary that | must |
| in order to | to |
| for the purpose of | to |
| in the near future | soon |
| at this point in time | now |
| has the ability to | can |
| in a position to | can |
| prior to | before |
5. 把否定改為肯定 (Negatives to Affirmatives)#
否定句比肯定句更難處理。讀者必須先理解肯定的意思,再進行否定運算:
Do not write in an unclear style.
✓ Write clearly.
Do not translate a negative into an affirmative if you want to emphasize the negative.
某些動詞、介系詞和連接詞本身就帶有隱含的否定意義:
| 類型 | 範例 |
|---|---|
| 動詞 | preclude, prevent, lack, fail, doubt, deny, refuse, exclude |
| 介系詞 | without, against, lacking, but for, except |
| 連接詞 | unless, except when |
當這些隱含否定的詞與明確的否定詞(not)結合時,讀者會特別困惑: Benefits will not be denied except when you have failed to… ✓ You will receive benefits only if you…
6. 刪除無用的形容詞和副詞#
很多形容詞和副詞是習慣性添加的,對意思毫無貢獻:
In the modern world of today, effective communication is extremely important.
✓ Effective communication is important.
試著刪掉段落中的所有形容詞和副詞,然後只加回那些真正必要的。你會驚訝地發現,大部分可以永遠不加回來。
冗餘的元論述 (Redundant Metadiscourse)#
元論述是關於文章本身的語言。少量有用,過多則是贅字:
The last point I would like to make is that in regard to the work habits of millennials, it is important to keep in mind that they are characterized by their expectation of collaboration.
✓ Millennials expect to collaborate when they work.
兩種常見的冗餘元論述:
- 歸因來源:It has been observed that… → 直接陳述事實
- 宣告主題:This section introduces the problem of… → 直接討論問題
模糊語和強調語 (Hedges and Intensifiers)#
- 模糊語(hedges):perhaps, might, seems, somewhat, in some ways
- 強調語(intensifiers):very, clearly, obviously, certainly, fundamentally
兩者都可能冗餘,但也都有合理用途:
- 模糊語讓你的主張更謹慎、更學術(但太多會顯得猶豫不決)
- 強調語增加你的語氣(但太多會顯得過度自信)
掌握模糊語和強調語的平衡是 Goldilocks 法則:不要太多,不要太少,剛剛好就好。
簡潔但不精簡#
過度追求簡潔會讓文章變得生硬、缺乏節奏。書中用 Strunk and White《The Elements of Style》的一段話示範了三個版本:
| 版本 | 說明 |
|---|---|
| 原文 | 205 字(有些冗贅但語調溫暖) |
| 精簡版 | 149 字(刪掉了冗贅) |
| 極簡版 | 51 字(資訊保留了,但失去了所有的韻味和親切感) |
目標是簡潔(concise),不是精簡(terse)。讀者不喜歡贅字,但也不喜歡骨感到沒有血肉的文章。最好的判斷方式是找一個讀者——如果他們覺得你的文章讀起來太急促、太生硬,你可能刪得太多了。
本課重點
- 六個簡潔原則:刪無意義字、刪重複配對、刪可推論字、片語換單字、否定換肯定、刪無用修飾語
- 減少冗餘的元論述,讓真正的內容浮現
- 平衡模糊語和強調語——不過多也不過少
- 簡潔 ≠ 精簡:保留文章的節奏和韻味
- 找讀者測試:如果聽起來太急促,你可能刪得太多