Lesson 8: Concision#

核心原則#

清除句子中的贅字廢話,讓句子的骨架更清楚。但記住:簡潔不等於簡短——目標不是把每句話壓到最短,而是讓每個字都有存在的理由。

六個簡潔原則#

1. 刪除無意義的字詞 (Meaningless Words)#

有些字詞可以直接刪除,完全不影響意思:

可刪除的字詞
kind of, sort of, type of, really, basically
actually, practically, virtually, certain, particular
individual, given, various, respective

Some polling sites reported various problems of a technical nature, but these did not really affect the election’s actual result.

✓ Some polling sites reported technical problems, but these did not affect the election’s result.

2. 刪除重複的配對 (Redundant Pairs)#

英文中有許多習慣性的重複配對:

重複配對保留一個
full and completecomplete
each and everyeach / every
hopes and desireshopes / desires
any and allany / all
aid and assistanceaid / assistance
first and foremostfirst
true and accurateaccurate

3. 刪除可推論的字詞 (Obvious Implications)#

有些資訊讀者可以自行推論,不需要你明說:

Energy will eventually cost more in years to come.

✓ Energy will eventually cost more.

In years to come 可以刪掉,因為 eventually 已經暗示了未來。

4. 用一個詞替換一個片語 (A Phrase for a Word)#

冗長片語簡潔替代
the reason forbecause
due to the fact thatbecause
in the event thatif
it is necessary thatmust
in order toto
for the purpose ofto
in the near futuresoon
at this point in timenow
has the ability tocan
in a position tocan
prior tobefore

5. 把否定改為肯定 (Negatives to Affirmatives)#

否定句比肯定句更難處理。讀者必須先理解肯定的意思,再進行否定運算:

Do not write in an unclear style.

✓ Write clearly.

Do not translate a negative into an affirmative if you want to emphasize the negative.

某些動詞、介系詞和連接詞本身就帶有隱含的否定意義:

類型範例
動詞preclude, prevent, lack, fail, doubt, deny, refuse, exclude
介系詞without, against, lacking, but for, except
連接詞unless, except when

當這些隱含否定的詞與明確的否定詞(not)結合時,讀者會特別困惑: Benefits will not be denied except when you have failed to…You will receive benefits only if you…

6. 刪除無用的形容詞和副詞#

很多形容詞和副詞是習慣性添加的,對意思毫無貢獻:

In the modern world of today, effective communication is extremely important.

✓ Effective communication is important.

試著刪掉段落中的所有形容詞和副詞,然後只加回那些真正必要的。你會驚訝地發現,大部分可以永遠不加回來。

冗餘的元論述 (Redundant Metadiscourse)#

元論述是關於文章本身的語言。少量有用,過多則是贅字:

The last point I would like to make is that in regard to the work habits of millennials, it is important to keep in mind that they are characterized by their expectation of collaboration.

✓ Millennials expect to collaborate when they work.

兩種常見的冗餘元論述:

  1. 歸因來源It has been observed that… → 直接陳述事實
  2. 宣告主題This section introduces the problem of… → 直接討論問題

模糊語和強調語 (Hedges and Intensifiers)#

  • 模糊語(hedges):perhaps, might, seems, somewhat, in some ways
  • 強調語(intensifiers):very, clearly, obviously, certainly, fundamentally

兩者都可能冗餘,但也都有合理用途:

  • 模糊語讓你的主張更謹慎、更學術(但太多會顯得猶豫不決)
  • 強調語增加你的語氣(但太多會顯得過度自信)

掌握模糊語和強調語的平衡是 Goldilocks 法則:不要太多,不要太少,剛剛好就好。

簡潔但不精簡#

過度追求簡潔會讓文章變得生硬、缺乏節奏。書中用 Strunk and White《The Elements of Style》的一段話示範了三個版本:

版本說明
原文205 字(有些冗贅但語調溫暖)
精簡版149 字(刪掉了冗贅)
極簡版51 字(資訊保留了,但失去了所有的韻味和親切感)

目標是簡潔(concise),不是精簡(terse)。讀者不喜歡贅字,但也不喜歡骨感到沒有血肉的文章。最好的判斷方式是找一個讀者——如果他們覺得你的文章讀起來太急促、太生硬,你可能刪得太多了。

本課重點
  • 六個簡潔原則:刪無意義字、刪重複配對、刪可推論字、片語換單字、否定換肯定、刪無用修飾語
  • 減少冗餘的元論述,讓真正的內容浮現
  • 平衡模糊語和強調語——不過多也不過少
  • 簡潔 ≠ 精簡:保留文章的節奏和韻味
  • 找讀者測試:如果聽起來太急促,你可能刪得太多