作者:Jodi Glickman
多年沒聯絡,還能重新接上線嗎?#
還有什麼比這更糟——你想到了一個能完美幫你新工作機會、職涯轉換、即將搬去亞洲的人選,但你已經多年沒和他聯絡?
這種狀況比想像中常見。好消息是:失聯多年後仍能重連,即使隔了好幾個月或好幾年——時間流逝不是放棄這份潛在連結的好理由。
如果有個你一直想聯絡、卻不知怎麼開口的人,作者提供三個簡單步驟,把這場可能尷尬的對話變得不那麼痛苦——甚至豐收。
第一步:承認時間的流逝(Acknowledge the Lapse in Time)#
最尷尬(也最惹人厭)的情境,莫過於收到一封多年沒聯絡的人的 email——他卻裝得像你們是死黨,假定你知道(或在乎)他的近況。
這不真誠也沒效果。但反過來——忽略長時間沒聯絡的事實,等於把房間裡的大象當作不存在。雙方都心知肚明。
正確做法:坦白承認,並給這段時間一個說明或脈絡。
可能的說法:
- 在唸書?
- 在國外工作或旅行?
- 離職嘗試新事物?
- 結婚生子?
- 還是純粹忙到自顧不暇?
不論原因,你都需要承認。
範本:
Lance, I wanted to reach out to say hello. I know it’s been ages since we’ve spoken, but I’ve thought of you often over the years and I’ve always wanted to reconnect.
Patricia, how are you? I’m sure you’re surprised to hear from me—the last time we spoke, I was headed off to graduate school. I wound up moving to Washington, DC, shortly thereafter, where I’ve been for the last five years.
Sean, hello and I hope you’re well! I’m so sorry I haven’t been in touch sooner. You’ve been on my mind for months, and I’ve just been completely consumed by a crazy work schedule.
第二步:說明「為什麼是現在?」(Explain the “Why Now?”)#
聯絡的理由可能千百種——你有議程要推、想預先連結以後可能有事相求、或你欠對方什麼一直沒回覆。
不論哪一種,都要想清楚「為什麼是現在」並透明說出來。
「Why now?」應包含:
- 觸發你聯絡的轉變或事件
- 你的具體議程(如果有)
範本:
I wanted to reach out to you to let you know that I’m headed to Asia next month to work in GE’s plastics division. Last I heard you were working in Tokyo. I thought you might be a great person to reach out to before heading abroad.
After leaving the firm following the birth of my daughter, I recently came back online, and I’m thrilled to be working with the consumer retail sector again. I was hoping you’d have time to sit down for coffee and catch up; I’d love to hear your perspective on how the industry has changed.
I’ve just begun the application process to graduate school, and I know you had a great experience at Duke. I was wondering if you might have some time to talk about your MBA experience with me.
第三步:提出互惠(Offer a Quid Pro Quo)#
最後,加上幫忙或互惠的暗示。
要點:
- 大方且慷慨:「Thanks so much in advance for your help, I look forward to hearing from you.」
- 強調你也願意幫他——盡你所能。
想著「雙向受益」而非「我能怎麼利用對方的專業或人脈」,回覆機率會大幅提升。
作者的親身案例#
她某年夏天在 Ithaca 遇到一位同學,對方是 Johnson School 的 entrepreneur in residence。她興奮地分享自己的事業,對方慷慨地說可以打電話給他「肩上指導」。
但她讓球落地了——人生忙起來,她直到將近一年後才回頭聯絡。
她鼓起勇氣,用上述三步驟寫信,並在末尾加上:「未來有機會,我也很樂意回報你的商業經驗。」
結果——成功了。即使對方那時已轉換角色,Sean 仍與她重連,並且極為慷慨地分享時間與知識。他們重建了一段對雙方都有用(也有趣)的關係,受惠至今。